The Decision Has Been Made.

Never would I have thought at the age of 26, would I have decided on many things. But one.

In my life, I planned to have a family, to be a working mum & to own my own house. Out of the “planned list” I set I have achieved two out of three so far. My children and my job. Buying a house is another chapter of our lives.

If you don’t already know, I have three children. Two boys and a girl. I am very lucky as all my children were both healthy and no complications (two pregnancies had complications but babies were fine.) I suffered Group B Strep with all three, however received the correct antibiotics once my waters had broken, but with Lauren and Riley I had the antibiotics in slightly earlier as being induced.

But the tables have turned, I am now a single parent. But I am a strong ass mama to them, so I’m not dwelling on the fact of this and infact it’s made me even more stronger than I previously thought.  My time, my money, everything I have is for them. Which brings me on to my decision.

On June 11th 2014 I announced I was pregnant to the whole of Facebook, Family, Friends and Work Colleagues. It was the greatest feeling as I had longed to be pregnant for such a long time that it felt a blessing and a lot more wanted. Regardless of the sex, so long as the baby was healthy I didn’t have a preference. It was a happy pregnancy and it zoomed fast, my official due date was February 11th, 2015 but R arrived on February 14th (my gorgeous little valentine!)

As soon as i had R placed on my chest, I looked at him and he was the absolute spit of his big brother. The feeling of love I had for him was indescribable. I can’t explain in words how in love I was looking at his beautiful little face, knowing I had created him and waited for this newborn for such a long time.

As soon as R was born, I had it in my mind I wasn’t going to have any more children. Three to me was enough, I could afford three children, I thought in the short term aswell as long term.  And you know what they say, three is the magic number.

In my heart of hearts, would I have another baby? My answer is no. I have my reasons why, the pain of being induced was horrendous. The risk of Group B Strep, I’ve had it three times before, I would be at risk again more than likely. What if I met someone and they wanted children? I would tell them before it even “got to that stage” I wouldn’t be prepared. I don’t want to go on maternity leave again. Yes I enjoyed it and it broke my heart to leave my baby in this big nursery setting with brand new faces, brand new routine… the child care fees, be honest? ARE CRIPPLING. I struggled secretly because I didn’t want to be judged and that says ALOT about me.

Ive just conkered potty training with R. He was already interested in the potty for a matter of months and on Thursday night he didn’t want a nappy on for bed, we had dry nappies beforehand so it was nothing new. Until he decided he WANTED pants on. And Pre School on Friday? PANTS. Not just the blue star ones. The paw patrol ones. And as you can imagine it went on from there, we have never looked back. He has had one accident in the four days, which speaks for itself. Do I want to go back down the road of nappies, cream & wipes? Err… no thanks.

I love my three babes more than they could possibly realise. Three is my number.

No more.

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